Thursday, August 30, 2012

Release Day & Contest Fun!

Today is my release day for Stolen Moment[Enslaved & Enticed 1]. Now, available for purchase through Bookstrand.

To celebrate the day, I'm giving away a free e-copy to one lucky winner!

Contest: Tell me a joke by leaving it in the comments. The one that makes me laugh the hardest wins! It's that easy! Have fun playing! The winner will be announced on my blog tomorrow!



eosmomma said...

Girls night out
Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away. Her friend however was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home.
The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and said, "These damn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties." "That's nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, 'From all of us at the Fire Station, Well never forget you!'

Tatum Throne said...

Love it! That is by far my favorite firemen joke! :D Eosmomma you're in the lead to win SM! Thanks for playing!

Anonymous said...

Why is it so hard to find men who are caring, sensitive, and good looking? They all already have boyfriends.

Tatum Throne said...

Hahahaha! :D So true! I think I know who posted this! :)

diva donna said...

Go Luck on Launch Day!! Joke: Sadie, and Jewish Lady, is leaving the garment district to go home from work. suddenly a man who has been walking towards her, stands in front of her, blocking her path, opens up his raincoat and flashes his wares in all their dangly glory, unruffled Sadie takes a look and remarks. This you call a lining?

Tatum Throne said...

Hehehe. Thanks Donna! Launch day has been going well! :D

Sally Klingaman said...

A man was walking one day when he came upon this big house in a nice neighborhood. Suddenly he realized there was a couple screwing out on the lawn. then he noticed another couple behind the tree. and another behind some bushes.
he walked up to the door and knocked. A well dressed woman answered the door and the man asked, "What kind of place is this?"
"This is a brothel," the woman replied. "Well, what's all this on the front lawn then?" he asked.
"Oh, "We're have a yard sale". she replied.

Tatum Throne said...

Hahahaha! Love it! Check back tomorrow. I'll be posting the winner! :D

Jennifer said...

A young man goes into the pharmacy to buy some condoms. The pharmacist asks him,"These come 3,6,9 or 12 to a box. What pack would you like?"
"Well," says the young man. "I just started dating this girl, but I have a feeling that tonight is THE night. We're going to go have dinner with her parents, then go out afterwards. I don't want to brag, but once she's had me, she won't be able to stop. So I think I'll get the 12-pack."
"Fine," says the pharmacist. And the young man pays and leaves with his condoms.
Later that evening, the young man arrives at his girlfriend's home and they all sit down to dinner. The young man asks to say the blessing, and the parents agree. He begins to pray, but continues on for a much longer time than usual. The young woman leans over to him and whispers in his ear,"I had no idea you were such a religious man!"
The young man replies,"And I had no idea your father was a pharmacist".

Melissa said...

A little boy is playing with his new football and a little girl asks if she can play. He tells her, "No. These are for boys." The little girl runs into the house and tells her mother. The next day the girl sticks her tongue out at the boy and waves her new football in his face. The little boy angrily points to his boy's bike and says, "Oh yeah? Well, only boys can get these!" But the next day, the little girl has the same bike. The little boy gets furious, pulls down his pants, points at himself, and says, "LOOK, only boys have these and your mom can't buy you one!" The next day he walks by and the little girl promptly pulls up her dress, points at herself, and proclaims, "My mother tells me that as long as I have one of these, I can have as many of those as I want."

Kelly B said...

Love everyone's submissions thus far. As for mine, it's not original but it always makes me chuckle... plus I can't tell a joke to save my life so I copy & paste.

"Penguin Car Trouble....
A penguin is driving thru the desert. (strange i know, but stick stay with me)
The temperature in the desert began to grow hotter and hotter, as it did the penguin began to grow very tired from heat exhaustion. "If only I could make it thru the desert before nightfall" the penguin said to himself, so onward he drove.
The Heat began to take its toll on the automobile, and the car begins to knock loudly, and the penguin notices smoke in the rear view. Disaster.
The Penguin pulls into the first gas station he can find, and luck has it there is a mechanic on duty.
The mechanic offers to take a look, and the penguin dashes into the continent store in much need of a cool down. He is pleased to find that this old gas station serves vanilla ice cream. His favorite, so in an effort to cool down, he orders an extra large bowl.
Penguins do not have fingers, just flippers, so naturally, a distraught penguin is going to make quite a mess with vanilla icecream, and he does exactly this. While in a vanilla ice cream feeding frenzy the penguin manages to cover the table, chair, and himself with sticky vanilla ice cream.
After we finishes his bowl, he sits back and enjoys the comfort of the cool ice cream in his tiny penguin stomach, when he suddenly realizes his car is no longer out front.
He dashes outside to find that the mechanic has pushed the car around to the side of the building and is under the hood making quite a racket. The mechanic hears him approaching and lifts his head out of the engine compartment and looks at the penguin and says "Well, it looks like you blew a seal back there."
Shocked, the penguin quickly replies with "NO! Its just vanilla ice cream, i swear!"

Tatum Throne said...

LMAO! That is hilarious, Kelly! I haven't heard that one before! Love it! :D

Sally Klingaman said...

Fred and Mary get married but couldn't afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred's Mom and Dad's house for their first night together.

In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast. As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his mom if Fred and Mary are up yet.

She replies, 'No'.

Johnny asks, 'Do you know what I think?'

His mom replies, 'I don't want to hear what you think! Just go to school.'

Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, 'Are Fred and Mary up yet?'

She replies, 'No.'

Johnny says, 'Do you know what I think?'

His mom replies, 'Never mind what you think! Eat your lunch and go back to school .'

After school, Johnny comes home and asks again, 'Are Fred and Mary up yet?'

His mom says, 'No.'

He asks, 'Do you know what I think?'

His mom replies, 'Ok, now tell me what you think?'

He says: 'Last night Fred came t o my room for the Vaseline and I think...

I gave him my airplane glue.'

Tatum Throne said...

LMAO!!!! Melissa and Jennifer! Those are hilarious! Love it! I totally missed your posts...they didn't flag in my email.

Ohmygosh...Sally! I'm still laughing over this one! Especially since my sister super glued her fingers together fixing a plumbing issue!!! Hahahahaha!

Tatum Throne said...

Okay...I just read a few over! Hahahaha!!!!! I'm still laughing! :D